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(OT) Totally off topic but got a chuckle from me.

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  • (OT) Totally off topic but got a chuckle from me.

    Becoming Illegal (From a MD. resident to his senator)


    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
    309 Hart Senate Office Building
    Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
    Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
    Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
    illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
    and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
    room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
    premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
    renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
    (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
    most appreciative.

    Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,

    Pete McGlaughlin


    Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

    Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!

  • #2
    lmao. Screw Sarbanes, Screw Cardin and Screw Omalley. All immoral jerks.
    Carson Wentz ERA


    NFC East Titles:
    Playoff Appearances:
    NFC Title Games:
    Super Bowl Titles:

    Comment


    • #3
      Sweet, sign me up.
      Whatcha Gonna Do Brother, When the Eagles run wild on you?

      Comment


      • #4
        BP it was a joke not meant as political fodder.

        Comment


        • #5
          Screw Sarbanes. Screw Cadin especially.

          Carson Wentz ERA


          NFC East Titles:
          Playoff Appearances:
          NFC Title Games:
          Super Bowl Titles:

          Comment


          • #6
            count me in. Illegal allienship here I come
            Were from Philly F in Philly no one likes us we DON'T CARE!

            Comment


            • #7
              I hate politics.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you....I probably just should delete the whole f'ing thing.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Steele????

                  HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH!!!

                  He doesn't have a clue as to how to govern. Oh wait....George Bush is president. Nevermind.
                  "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theismann



                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Good thing he's not running for governor.
                    Carson Wentz ERA


                    NFC East Titles:
                    Playoff Appearances:
                    NFC Title Games:
                    Super Bowl Titles:

                    Comment

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