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  • Fan Post lifted from BGN-Pretty funny

    Some pretty good lines here


    Why We Suck Every Year


    The eagles are not a good football team, plain and simple. The first 3 games of the season did more harm than good. Every eagles fan was fully prepared to be a "rebuilding" team this year once Bradford was traded, but then the first 3 games offered a false glimmer of hope where we all thought, hey this could be our year. Then reality set in and the lions game happened, and then the redskins game, and blah blah we are now 5-6. Even if we were to win out, which I fully think is possible, we would still need a lot of help from other teams to go to the playoffs (but hey, it's happened before.. thank you 2008 Oakland Raiders week 17!)

    I fully believe that the playoffs are a whole different league, and if a mediocre team can squeak in, anything can happen- just look at the 2007 and 2011 Giants... The Giants are NOT a good team, but they got hot at the right moment and god hates me and little goofy Eli wins 2 superbowls in four years.

    HOWEVER, even if we were to squeak in, we simply lack talent in almost every position. I will say this.. Carson Wentz has the potential to be an awesome qb once he gets some weapons. In 2-3 years, he may very well be aaron rodgers esque. OR, it's very possible that he'll just be a guy who fizzles out and has a good arm but never takes his team anywhere, kind of like Mathew Stafford. That being said, here are some reasons why we are terrible:



    1) Our Wide Receivers are Historically Bad: You know who the biggest benefactor is of Nelson Agholor having a mental collapse and not knowing how to play football anymore? Jordan Mathews. I love Mathews leadership and spirit.. he seems to say and do all the right things. But Agholors collapse has completely overshadowed the fact that Mathews has hands made of concrete. Every season Mathews has inexcusable drops where we are all left scratching our heads. I also think we gave up on Reuben Randle WAY too soon. If you think back to training camp, our receivers were Mathews, Huff, Agholor, Randle, and Givens. FOUR OF THOSE RECEIVERS do not play anymore. Against the Packers, our starters were Mathews, DGB, Future-hall-of-famer Paul Turner, and Bryce Treggs (who now has 3 catches in 4 games). Even in the early 2000's, when we had "bad" receivers like Freddie Mitchel, Todd Pinkston, and James Thrash, they would put our current receivers to shame. Todd Pinkston, who has skinnier legs than I do, and who was afraid to get tackled, would be our second best offensive player today.



    2) Our Secondary Has been Awful Since Jimmie Johnson Passed Away: Remember when the Eagles Secondary was tough and feared? Guys like Troy Vincent, Dawkins, Lito Shepard, Sheldon Brown, etc etc. They were phenomenal. Since then, we've over-paid for idiots like Nnamdi Asnfhodsoh (or however you spell his ridiculous name), Cary Williams, ROC CARMICHAEL, Jaquain Jarrett, omg omg omg. Who are these people? Philly is becoming the place where eagles corners and safeties come to end their career at age 24. I really love Jenkins, but he may have worse hands than Agholor, and he's getting older. By the time the eagles are a contender, Jenkins will only be on the field at Halftime to be inducted to the eagles hall of fame.

    3) Chip Kelly is a NY Giants Spy that was Paid to sabotage the Team: How on earth can you explain letting Chip Kelly come to Philadelphia, allow him to release Desean Jackson for NOTHING, trade away Maclin and McCoy for Kiko Steroids and Byran Maxwell, keep Riley Cooper on the team after his KKK video came out, draft Marcus Smith in the FIRST ROUND, and every other moronic thing Chip did in his brief stint? Simple. He was paid by Tom Coughlin to come to Philadelphia, gut the team, trick everyone into thinking smoothies were an original idea, and then bail. Also, Chip Kelly gets fatter every time I see him on tv. How can you trust a man who preaches sports science but seems to be guzzling down Arby's in his Toyota. The only good thing about this season is that the 49ers are 1-10 and Chip will soon be another failure of a college coach trying to transition to the NFL.

    4) Refs.. Refs..Refs: I know this is a childish argument, but I think we all know this to be true.. WE GET NO CALLS EVER. Whenever i watch a giants game, the giants get a pass interference call for them at least twice a game. All little Eli does is throw the ball as far as his little Eli arm can throw it, and hope that the D gets called for Pass Interference. And, since the NY market is one of the LARGEST markets in the league, it pays the NFL a lot more for the Giants win games.. which is why they get so many calls. Philly, on the other hand, is a team that everyone loves to hate ("they throw snowballs at Santa Clause"... no we didn't. everyone messes up that story and it's infuriating). Even this past week against the Packers, Fletcher Cox's roughing the passer was absolute BS, there were 3 plays that should've been called for PI that weren't, DGB got called for an OFFENSIVE PI (which literally never happens to any other team), and so forth. I'm sick and tired of the refs ruining the game for the eagles. Refs should be replaced by robots. Everything should be done by science and cameras. There should not be any subjectivity to the games. It's unfair, and its BS, and I hate it.

    5) We can't Draft: Marcus Smith, slowly coming along to not be a total bust, shouldn't have been taken before the third round. Danny Watkins quit the NFL to be a fireman. Nelson Agholor is probably going to be in a mental house soon eating his own feces, Alex Henery is now a bald, 130-pound insurance salesman, there have been countless corners we drafted in rounds 2-5, which are all either out of the league or in prison by now, and so forth. If you look at the players we could have drafted compared to the players that we actually drafted, you will cry and want to leave work early. Why is it that I, a 27 year old man who has never played more than 2-hand touch with my friends, knew immediately just by LOOKING AT THEM that Kevin Kolb and Nick Foles were going to be complete failures. I never had any faith in those guys. Even with Foles' historic 27-2 ratio, we all knew he sucked. The guys in Canton Ohio must hate themselves for having to put Fole's jersey next to Peyton Manning's for his dumb-luck 7 TD game against the raiders.

    So yeah, these are some reasons why we are terrible. I still think the eagles can win out, but i'm sure if we are still in it by week 17, Ryan Mathews will fumble away another victory, or Jordan Matthews will turn to the inside instead of the outside on a fade route, or Brent Celek will be called for offensive Pass interference, and benjamin button Jerry Jones and walking heart attack Chris Christie will be in their little box, with Jerry's stupid grandson who I always see on TV hugging Jerry Jones, and they will all be going ecstatic, while the rest of us eagles fans start mock drafting for 2017 where we will take some really small but really fast Offensive lineman who 'shows a lot of potential' but is a 'work in progress'.

    God I hate football.
    "Hey Giants, who's your Daddy?"

  • #2
    Originally posted by Eagle60 View Post
    Some pretty good lines here


    Why We Suck Every Year


    The eagles are not a good football team, plain and simple. The first 3 games of the season did more harm than good. Every eagles fan was fully prepared to be a "rebuilding" team this year once Bradford was traded, but then the first 3 games offered a false glimmer of hope where we all thought, hey this could be our year. Then reality set in and the lions game happened, and then the redskins game, and blah blah we are now 5-6. Even if we were to win out, which I fully think is possible, we would still need a lot of help from other teams to go to the playoffs (but hey, it's happened before.. thank you 2008 Oakland Raiders week 17!)

    I fully believe that the playoffs are a whole different league, and if a mediocre team can squeak in, anything can happen- just look at the 2007 and 2011 Giants... The Giants are NOT a good team, but they got hot at the right moment and god hates me and little goofy Eli wins 2 superbowls in four years.

    HOWEVER, even if we were to squeak in, we simply lack talent in almost every position. I will say this.. Carson Wentz has the potential to be an awesome qb once he gets some weapons. In 2-3 years, he may very well be aaron rodgers esque. OR, it's very possible that he'll just be a guy who fizzles out and has a good arm but never takes his team anywhere, kind of like Mathew Stafford. That being said, here are some reasons why we are terrible:



    1) Our Wide Receivers are Historically Bad: You know who the biggest benefactor is of Nelson Agholor having a mental collapse and not knowing how to play football anymore? Jordan Mathews. I love Mathews leadership and spirit.. he seems to say and do all the right things. But Agholors collapse has completely overshadowed the fact that Mathews has hands made of concrete. Every season Mathews has inexcusable drops where we are all left scratching our heads. I also think we gave up on Reuben Randle WAY too soon. If you think back to training camp, our receivers were Mathews, Huff, Agholor, Randle, and Givens. FOUR OF THOSE RECEIVERS do not play anymore. Against the Packers, our starters were Mathews, DGB, Future-hall-of-famer Paul Turner, and Bryce Treggs (who now has 3 catches in 4 games). Even in the early 2000's, when we had "bad" receivers like Freddie Mitchel, Todd Pinkston, and James Thrash, they would put our current receivers to shame. Todd Pinkston, who has skinnier legs than I do, and who was afraid to get tackled, would be our second best offensive player today.



    2) Our Secondary Has been Awful Since Jimmie Johnson Passed Away: Remember when the Eagles Secondary was tough and feared? Guys like Troy Vincent, Dawkins, Lito Shepard, Sheldon Brown, etc etc. They were phenomenal. Since then, we've over-paid for idiots like Nnamdi Asnfhodsoh (or however you spell his ridiculous name), Cary Williams, ROC CARMICHAEL, Jaquain Jarrett, omg omg omg. Who are these people? Philly is becoming the place where eagles corners and safeties come to end their career at age 24. I really love Jenkins, but he may have worse hands than Agholor, and he's getting older. By the time the eagles are a contender, Jenkins will only be on the field at Halftime to be inducted to the eagles hall of fame.

    3) Chip Kelly is a NY Giants Spy that was Paid to sabotage the Team: How on earth can you explain letting Chip Kelly come to Philadelphia, allow him to release Desean Jackson for NOTHING, trade away Maclin and McCoy for Kiko Steroids and Byran Maxwell, keep Riley Cooper on the team after his KKK video came out, draft Marcus Smith in the FIRST ROUND, and every other moronic thing Chip did in his brief stint? Simple. He was paid by Tom Coughlin to come to Philadelphia, gut the team, trick everyone into thinking smoothies were an original idea, and then bail. Also, Chip Kelly gets fatter every time I see him on tv. How can you trust a man who preaches sports science but seems to be guzzling down Arby's in his Toyota. The only good thing about this season is that the 49ers are 1-10 and Chip will soon be another failure of a college coach trying to transition to the NFL.

    4) Refs.. Refs..Refs: I know this is a childish argument, but I think we all know this to be true.. WE GET NO CALLS EVER. Whenever i watch a giants game, the giants get a pass interference call for them at least twice a game. All little Eli does is throw the ball as far as his little Eli arm can throw it, and hope that the D gets called for Pass Interference. And, since the NY market is one of the LARGEST markets in the league, it pays the NFL a lot more for the Giants win games.. which is why they get so many calls. Philly, on the other hand, is a team that everyone loves to hate ("they throw snowballs at Santa Clause"... no we didn't. everyone messes up that story and it's infuriating). Even this past week against the Packers, Fletcher Cox's roughing the passer was absolute BS, there were 3 plays that should've been called for PI that weren't, DGB got called for an OFFENSIVE PI (which literally never happens to any other team), and so forth. I'm sick and tired of the refs ruining the game for the eagles. Refs should be replaced by robots. Everything should be done by science and cameras. There should not be any subjectivity to the games. It's unfair, and its BS, and I hate it.

    5) We can't Draft: Marcus Smith, slowly coming along to not be a total bust, shouldn't have been taken before the third round. Danny Watkins quit the NFL to be a fireman. Nelson Agholor is probably going to be in a mental house soon eating his own feces, Alex Henery is now a bald, 130-pound insurance salesman, there have been countless corners we drafted in rounds 2-5, which are all either out of the league or in prison by now, and so forth. If you look at the players we could have drafted compared to the players that we actually drafted, you will cry and want to leave work early. Why is it that I, a 27 year old man who has never played more than 2-hand touch with my friends, knew immediately just by LOOKING AT THEM that Kevin Kolb and Nick Foles were going to be complete failures. I never had any faith in those guys. Even with Foles' historic 27-2 ratio, we all knew he sucked. The guys in Canton Ohio must hate themselves for having to put Fole's jersey next to Peyton Manning's for his dumb-luck 7 TD game against the raiders.

    So yeah, these are some reasons why we are terrible. I still think the eagles can win out, but i'm sure if we are still in it by week 17, Ryan Mathews will fumble away another victory, or Jordan Matthews will turn to the inside instead of the outside on a fade route, or Brent Celek will be called for offensive Pass interference, and benjamin button Jerry Jones and walking heart attack Chris Christie will be in their little box, with Jerry's stupid grandson who I always see on TV hugging Jerry Jones, and they will all be going ecstatic, while the rest of us eagles fans start mock drafting for 2017 where we will take some really small but really fast Offensive lineman who 'shows a lot of potential' but is a 'work in progress'.

    God I hate football.
    When we saw the shots of the fans in the stands on Monday night, we all knew what was going through their heads. I think only an Eagles fan can have all those thoughts, AT THE SAME TIME:
    Canada's #1 Eagles fan.

    Comment


    • #3
      You know I really feel for this poor kid. He's only 27 and is cursed for the rest of his life. The only thing good about being just shy of 66 is that I've got almost all of it behind me.
      "Hey Giants, who's your Daddy?"

      Comment


      • #4
        As frustrating as things are right now, things could be A LOT worse - we could be Cleveland Browns fans.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by CHIP72 View Post
          As frustrating as things are right now, things could be A LOT worse - we could be Cleveland Browns fans.
          I think the only team that has suffered more is the Lions. The Browns fans that stayed with the franchise at least had the Ravens and the New Browns haven't been around that long Chip. Let's face it, we're porked.
          "Hey Giants, who's your Daddy?"

          Comment


          • #6
            It's a long ride---------------- but nobody ever said it would a fun one!!!!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by MDFAN View Post
              It's a long ride---------------- but nobody ever said it would a fun one!!!!!!
              Nobody ever said it would be complete agony either!!!
              "Hey Giants, who's your Daddy?"

              Comment


              • #8
                Hey, at least we have each OTHER!
                http://shop.cafepress.com/content/global/img/spacer.gifOK, let's try this again...

                Comment


                • #9
                  As a Red Sox fan, all I can say is: hang in there. When the championship comes (and it will come), it will be all the sweeter. Just ask any Cubs fan.
                  "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theismann



                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by stocknowledge View Post
                    As a Red Sox fan, all I can say is: hang in there. When the championship comes (and it will come), it will be all the sweeter. Just ask any Cubs fan.
                    3 1/5 million at the Red Sox first world series victory parade. I imagine the Eagles would double that if they ever won.
                    "Hey Giants, who's your Daddy?"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      For a 27 year old, he is wise beyond his years.

                      Comment

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