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Kinda long way to go for a little tee hee!

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  • Kinda long way to go for a little tee hee!

    A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.
    She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.
    He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

    As they walked through the ape exhibit,
    they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.

    Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.

    He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand
    and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.
    He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the
    pink Dress.

    The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was
    funny.

    He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some
    more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

    Then the husband suggested that she let one of her
    straps fall to show a little more skin.

    She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars
    down.

    "Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at
    him," he said.

    This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing
    flips.

    Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the
    door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door
    shut.



    "Now. Tell HIM you have a headache!!"

  • #2
    Ha! not bad MD
    Whatcha Gonna Do Brother, When the Eagles run wild on you?

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    • #3
      This one isn't too bad either........
      /////////////////////////////////////

      Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.

      "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

      The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

      "Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"

      "OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic.

      But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

      The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."



      "So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

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      • #4
        OK MD, here's one that's right up your alley.....

        There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone." So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

        After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

        The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

        Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where He made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next Day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

        The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

        Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.


        Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

        What is the moral of this story?????............................










        Think! about it






















        You can't kill two birds with one stone! (So I guess Jaybird is safe but as for everyone else......)
        Official Driver of the Eagles Bandwagon!!!
        Bleedin' Green since birth!

        "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many." - Mike Willey

        ”Enjoy The Ride!!!” - Bob Marcus

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        • #5
          Chuckle Chuckle!!!!!

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          • #6
            hahahah.. that was so bad it was funny.

            Comment


            • #7
              Ok Ok this one is a little more topical.............

              //////////////////////////////////////////////////////

              In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.


              The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
              ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


              Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

              /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////




              Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

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