Tweet
Thanks for the kind welcome MD but it doesn't quite do me justice. You see after I helped Al Gore invent the internet I started posting and I am such a positive force that I change lives and did that for many who are posting on this forum.
I knew MD before the senility set in and once gave him help when he needed it by convincing him to check into a rehab center for pucntuation abuse.
I helped Officer Pedro once when he got into big trouble for calling in 1,000 anti-terrorist agents to storm a Kolhs when he overheard someone saying "bed linen is on the second floor." I told him to say he mixed his supplements with some pain killers and he didn't know what he was doing. Others have used that excuse since.
I suggested that Stocknowledge market left handed tooth brushes to Cowboy fans and he made enough money to buy Thailand. He would have been the greatest poster of all time but someone invented Viagra and now he's too busy to post because he's made it his goal to inpregnate every leprotic woman in Thailand figuring with his looks a little leprosy in the gene pool can't do anything but help.
I was the first Eagle poster to create a complete list of cap hits for the length of all player's contracts. There are still people here who know how much McNabb's dental plan will cost in 2013 because I told them and for that they will always be greatful.
I took a young waif named Stevemc under my wing and made him a cap expert. When I started he couldn't count to 21[he'd use his fingers and toes to reach 20 but then he'd pull down his zipper and for some reason go back to 1 and three quarters] Today he not only looks like Joe Banner but he's as knowledgable and smart as...well actually he still only looks like Joe Banner.
I took a young inexperienced MDPIGS aid named Ike and taught him enough of my clever pick-up lines and smooth moves[he knows all the words to "she's once twice three times a lady"] to bed his first woman. If it ever happens I'm sure he'll send me a thank you note.
I took a 26 year old junior at Indiana State who declared for the NFL draft and thru skillful management almost tuned him into the first pick in the entire draft. He didn't actually get drafted into the NFL but he did get feelers from the WNBA. Or maybe Hardogg got arrested for feeling up a center from the WNBA and he would have got away with it too except he went back to get his step ladder.
I suggested Saratoga start a museum in Saratoga made up of people's heads that are shaped like potatoes and set it apart from others with a huge statue of Britney Spears[almost as big as she is pregnant] made of good old Saratoga horsedung. He's the success he is today because of that suggestion.
I challenged Big Philly to a rap contest and helped him found Accountant Rap["Depreciate this"..."Kiss My Assets"] and helped him cope during a rough patch by convincing him the whole Enron thing wasn't completely his fault.
That's right....I change lives...and I'd probably change lives here too except I have to resign because I refuse to be a member of any club that would stoop low enough to have me as a member.
I knew MD before the senility set in and once gave him help when he needed it by convincing him to check into a rehab center for pucntuation abuse.
I helped Officer Pedro once when he got into big trouble for calling in 1,000 anti-terrorist agents to storm a Kolhs when he overheard someone saying "bed linen is on the second floor." I told him to say he mixed his supplements with some pain killers and he didn't know what he was doing. Others have used that excuse since.
I suggested that Stocknowledge market left handed tooth brushes to Cowboy fans and he made enough money to buy Thailand. He would have been the greatest poster of all time but someone invented Viagra and now he's too busy to post because he's made it his goal to inpregnate every leprotic woman in Thailand figuring with his looks a little leprosy in the gene pool can't do anything but help.
I was the first Eagle poster to create a complete list of cap hits for the length of all player's contracts. There are still people here who know how much McNabb's dental plan will cost in 2013 because I told them and for that they will always be greatful.
I took a young waif named Stevemc under my wing and made him a cap expert. When I started he couldn't count to 21[he'd use his fingers and toes to reach 20 but then he'd pull down his zipper and for some reason go back to 1 and three quarters] Today he not only looks like Joe Banner but he's as knowledgable and smart as...well actually he still only looks like Joe Banner.
I took a young inexperienced MDPIGS aid named Ike and taught him enough of my clever pick-up lines and smooth moves[he knows all the words to "she's once twice three times a lady"] to bed his first woman. If it ever happens I'm sure he'll send me a thank you note.
I took a 26 year old junior at Indiana State who declared for the NFL draft and thru skillful management almost tuned him into the first pick in the entire draft. He didn't actually get drafted into the NFL but he did get feelers from the WNBA. Or maybe Hardogg got arrested for feeling up a center from the WNBA and he would have got away with it too except he went back to get his step ladder.
I suggested Saratoga start a museum in Saratoga made up of people's heads that are shaped like potatoes and set it apart from others with a huge statue of Britney Spears[almost as big as she is pregnant] made of good old Saratoga horsedung. He's the success he is today because of that suggestion.
I challenged Big Philly to a rap contest and helped him found Accountant Rap["Depreciate this"..."Kiss My Assets"] and helped him cope during a rough patch by convincing him the whole Enron thing wasn't completely his fault.
That's right....I change lives...and I'd probably change lives here too except I have to resign because I refuse to be a member of any club that would stoop low enough to have me as a member.
Comment